social media is just look at me look at me look at me me me me me which is whatever i’ve been there crying over someone’s hot selfie or some nuanced facebook shit

but have you ever just watched yourself crawling around in this vortex of marketing/projecting an identity for hyperreal consumption and validation and for a flash of a second its like hey are we even living or are we only living in our ideas of how we look to some third party

i used to think i could only feel real if i had a surface presence that i felt satisfied with but i really let it all go esp online and i’ll be out hiking alone and i feel so real and ok

and if there’s an ugly picture of me or i’m not doing something i can brag about later (or if there is or if its a gorgeous picture) i just don’t really identify with it and i don’t feel the need to prove to others (or myself) this is who i am i am this gorgeous picture and this exciting night out and this clever thing i said once in this grain of sand moment in the middle of eternity because i’m not i am everything and nothing i’d rather be smelling the air than imagining fantasy narratives I could conjure up in other people’s minds based on how I appear i’m over being someone else’s packaged mystery fantasy delivered to their door THATS HOW I FEEL